Why We Quit Manifesting

Mar 31, 2022
How to manifest, better than manifesting

There are so many manifestation experts and coaches out there, and I thought I was one of the best. But, during the pandemic I realized I wasn't one of the best, I was part of the problem. Focusing on manifesting keeps so many women stuck, inflating achievement and things over inner love and peace. How did I know? Because I was stuck there too. Ouch.

I reached out to my sister Lisa (who is a gifted, experienced coach and healer) for some private coaching. She had just learned a powerful new method, which helped me make the pivot within myself, finding balance, and feeling whole in each moment. Covid both helped and kind of forced us to all do that to some extent, but the use of a 1:1 spiritual guide facilitated deep, lasting change for me that got under new layers of old programming. For the first time in about a decade, I stopped writing down what I “wanted to manifest” (which had worked for me and my clients for years) and instead began to enjoy my inner world. I moved from being achievement driven, to allowing and enjoying, stillness, and felt my entire being (spiritual, emotional, mental, energetic, and physical) EXPAND.

In just a few short sessions with her, without writing anything down, my heart was delighted daily with new surprises from The Universe, but they did not come in measurable, visible ways like I typically manifested. They came in the form of signs, synchronicities, sparkles, and deep satisfaction. I had always been highly intuitive and sensitive to the unseen, but I began to sense a deeper connection to everything physical, without attachment or judgment of it. Even though I had been teaching it for years, I was surprised at the speed with which my inner world blossomed without my outer world needing to change. Other people did not need to change either, and they sure noticed the shift in me! I stopped searching, analyzing, and nagging because I already had all I needed inside of me. I just needed space, and a guide, to remember. Expansion for me meant beingness.

I realized I had fallen into a trap so many of us do, which is one of self-coaching and personal development. We believe we can achieve these great shifts on our own, and consume with the mind, not the heart and soul. I even wrote a book about self-coaching and manifesting! Written goal setting is meant to be an entry level step into self-actualization, but it has major limitations. Expansion is different for everyone. It involves a great balancing and harmonizing of the sacred masculine and divine feminine energy which lives within each individual. You can't access it with a pen. You need a trained guide.

As is common for Lisa (my sister) and I, she asked me for some coaching in return. She was already great at the art of being, so the result she desired was to make some soul-aligned decisions she had been wrestling with. I had realized when I started my journey, that activating my heart was the expressway to the deep satisfaction and new perspective I allowed, so I helped her activate her heart by first taking the walls down. She literally felt them fall away, and made the decisions she had been putting off. Expansion for her meant aligned action.

We both got such great results feeling deep bliss, flow, and creativity during a time that should have been challenging, that we buckled down and designed a modality together. We said “This is so much better than manifesting! We have to figure out the steps here and teach this to people. It’s too powerful to keep to ourselves.” We began beta testing it in an 8 week framework with over 20 women and WOW were we blown away with their results!

Our theory was proven: Expansion is so much faster, and more fulfilling, than manifesting, and it must be done in a private container for people to feel safe enough to allow the transformation to occur.

I know what you are wondering, because I had the same questions as all of this came to light for me.

Why isn’t this style of coaching crazy popular like mindset and manifestation coaching?

Expansion must occur within all dimensions, not just one like mindset coaching, which is overly thought based. Changing your thoughts is the slow, painful way to change, but thousands of coaches have only been trained in that one dimension. Clients will likely just repeat loops and patterns as the emotions stored in the body are always at odds with the new thoughts they are trying to implant. We ALL have past trauma, and we all have subconscious stress response patterns as a result. Our more somatic approach helps women release those patterns deep within the emotional, energetic, and physical bodies, so that a new higher perspective can be immediately seen. As we began to practice this modality, we realized there were no training programs for expansion coaching. You had to intuitively be guided toward it during client sessions. New coaches were left to take multiple certifications and figure this all out themselves by trial and error. That’s the route we took, and it was long and frustrating, but in our new expanded states, building out an Expansion Coach Academy training program felt easy and fun, so we did it!

Do I really need a private coach to achieve expansion? 

Expansion can be achieved on your own, but it is a slow, laborious, painful process of ego shape-shifting to confuse you and keep you believing you need something outside of you to change to feel good. It shifts from telling you YOU are the problem, to telling you OTHERS are the problem, to telling you you should start tomorrow, not today…today is NEVER a good day.

See, you cannot change the subconscious brain with the conscious mind. Our private clients enjoyed greater levels of change, and faster, because they allowed us to be the conscious mind, guiding their subconscious mind to find and let go of what was holding them back. They trusted us and our intuition and therefore surrendered to the shift. Zero shadow work was required. When you look for problems, you find more problems. Our approach is future focused, looking at what’s good NOW, using heart activation to keep that elevated state all day. If you want to spend a few decades doing shadow work, meditating, and isolating yourself from people, go for it, but there is a faster, more enjoyable way.

What about group coaching? It’s less expensive (sometimes) and has helped people right?

Group coaching and online courses are teaching based. Someone is telling you what worked for them, but learning does not teach. You must EXPERIENCE these shifts within your body and your energetic field. You must FEEL them. You can only do so by having a guide you trust so you can truly surrender in that moment. It's the surrender in the body which allows the expansion, and in an expanded state, you remember that you already have everything you need to feel balanced, and whole. 

Group coaching and online programs are not individualized to your specific needs. Neither are reading self-help books or watching inspirational YouTube videos. Those are great ways to embark on the journey, but most people never arrive at a destination that way. They stay on a journey toward becoming their higher self forever, never meeting or embodying her. 

Without the private 1:1 Expansion Coaching provided by my sister, I would not have been able to make these shifts, and become the next higher version of myself. My ego would still be shape-shifting to keep me unhappy, chasing more things on paper. I’m now living from an expanded state daily, and easily run two thriving organizations as a result, helping others, without fear or needing anything to happen to feel fulfilled. I have fully embodied my higher self, after chatting with her for years about making changes "tomorrow."

Before you can embody your higher self, and morph into who God made you to be, you have to let go at a higher level than you can yourself. You need a skilled therapist, healer, or coach to guide you, and hold space for you in a safe, loving container. Leaning on another is not weak, it is brave, wise, and strong.

To explore working with one of the Certified Expansion Coaches we've trained inside our Expansion Coach Academy, visit https://www.bossupandexpand.com/certified-expansion-coaches 

About The Author

Jamie Dooley is an international award-winning coach, healer, and expansion expert. She was named one of the top 500 global influencers by Brainz Magazine in 2021, after penning Self-Coaching Mastery, founding Expansion Group for Women and creating The Expansion Method ™ with her sister Lisa Freitag. Together they have dedicated their lives to building a community of heart-based coaches who will assist them in impacting the growth and expansion of women worldwide. She assists her coaches with all aspects of business and program development, which is a huge passion of hers. Jamie & Lisa teach multidimensional expansion on their YouTube channel The Sister Coaches, through their 7 Day Relationship Challenge, and their robust hybrid training and community, Expansion Coach Academy TM