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What is Mirror Theory?

mirror theory the expansion method Jan 20, 2023

Have you ever been super frustrated with someone, and in a moment of reflection or self-awareness a glimpse of the trait annoying you was obvious in yourself? It’s so fleeting that if you don’t tell someone, write it down, or seer it into your mind’s eye, you miss it.

It’s like you never saw the mirror.

Spiritual sages and yoga teachers talk about using others as a mirror, but few really offer solid examples for this concept.

My sister Lisa and I have made it the core of our heart-centered women’s empowerment collective. It has changed our lives.

So let's talk examples of this concept that can be so life-changing and cause such deep presence that your manifestations can come in strong and fast:

  1. There is that bitter, angry coworker that seems to have a chip on her shoulder. She’s never happy and makes the whole work day unnecessarily long and uncomfortable.
    • Now imagine one day you open your heart to her instead of being protective of her mood, and you realize that that is how you act toward your own mother-in-law. You are bitter from past comments she has made, and you make her visits unnecessarily long and uncomfortable for her, your husband, and your father-in-law.
      • You adjust your energy with your mother-in-law and that Monday when you walk into work your coworker is smiling and brought everyone bagels.
  1. You are constantly frustrated with your kids not taking care of their possession, or staying organized. You lecture them about it but don’t see change.
    • Then suddenly, one day when looking for something you can’t find you see the mirror. Your laundry room, bedroom, and hall closets are a hot mess. So are your accounting practices for your business.
      • You hire someone to help you with your expense reports and taxes and take a weekend to purge and implement some Marie Kondo-level home edits. That week your kids say “Look mom, we organized our books by color!” without you asking them to.

Mirror Theory requires an open heart. You won’t see any mirrors that are calling to you to release old stagnant patterns in yourself unless you first implement the strategies of The Expansion Method:

  1. Allow your heart to open
  2. Detach from your typical emotions and old stories
  3. Observe yourself and your current situation from a detached perspective so you can see it through a new lens
  4. Reverse your perspective from focusing on what others should change to what you can change

It is helpful to ask yourself what your meanest, nastiest judgment of that person is. That can help you get underneath the surface of the frustration and annoyed feelings to where the mirror lives and what it wants to show you.

For instance, if you find yourself feeling tense every time your sister calls, and you can feel the resistance in your neck and chest when you see a text come through, say “She’s so….” and let the answer come. Let’s say you finish that exercise with “She’s so selfish.” Your next step is to work the steps above, then ask yourself where you are selfish.

Let the answer come, don’t force it. It is rarely with the same person, so look around your life for where it may be calling to be released. Be open and it will reveal itself to you.

When you find it, you notice the mirror changes their habits and actions without you saying a word to them.

It’s magical and life-changing!


About the Author

Jamie Dooley is an award-winning international Master Coach, Heart Activator, Spiritual Teacher, and Program Developer. She is the founder of Expansion Group for Women and the National Network of Healthcare Hygienists, and is the author of Self-Coaching Mastery: Win the War Within. Jamie has been a trusted private coach and guide for the past decade and now enjoys teaching the powerful modality she created with her sister, Lisa, the "ADOR'EM Model of Expansion Coaching," inside their Expansion Coach Academy & SisterCoach Collective. She reminds us all that if we are brave enough to be still and drop into our hearts, all of our answers are there, and as we heal ourselves, it is our duty to share what we learn with others.